Bec’s and my story is one of light and shade, of mess and restoration, complexity and, ultimately, finding peace in a simple, ordinary life. It’s a story of slow and profound transformation for both of us.

We had a lot in common...drug and alcohol use from an early age, fractured relationships with our fathers, time spent in prison, and eventually, the desperate shared longing for something different, a new life filled with hope and purpose.

A SENSE OF BELONGING:

I was raised in a family that didn't want for anything materially, mum and dad were businesspeople. I am grateful for the many good things that my parents provided. But there were some significant gaps in my childhood. Some people say that to grow into a good man you need many good men around you. I didn’t have enough of these kind of men in my life. Men who could model healthy masculinity.

I was in year 9 when I started experimenting with drugs, I was in a private school and felt no need to hide my drug taking from my parents.  I was one of three brothers. It’s not easy raising a household of boys at the best of times and hats off to parents doing their best to raise boys into men of character.

I got into partying and hanging with a rough crowd, I remember going to parties and noticing that I wanted to go because of the substances available there and not for the fun and the relationships. I know now I was looking for identity and a sense of belonging.

LIFE IN PRISON:

I was expelled from school and my father got me work in a Motorcycle shop, I was drawn to the guys that were taking speed, I was introduced to heroin and started to get into strife with the law.  Up until then I was managing my addictions, but heroin, well it changed everything and that is what started my journey into addiction.

I had my first time in prison as a 20-year-old and over the time spent most of my early 20’s in jail.  My growing up years, my formative years as a young adult were formed in prison, I made connections, moved drugs in prison and got a reputation for getting things done.

I often reflect that the gifts I have been given, building relationships and networking, having an idea and then making it happen. I used these gifts in the underworld but now these same gifts are being used for good.

But life in prison is no walk in the park, while I was in prison my younger brother died. He was a bright and beautiful man but had suffered from depression, in a bid to help him I introduced him to the only way I knew to feel better; I introduced him to heroin.  I had to go to his funeral in handcuffs. It took me years to forgive myself for my part in his death. And to this day I feel his absence.

I remember sitting in my cell, thinking about my life, I was carrying so many heavy burdens, I wanted my life to change, but honestly, I didn’t know how to make that change.

After I got out of jail, I progressed in the world of organised crime and had money, cars, houses, women but I wasn’t happy, I was anything but happy. I was miserable, and it was a scary time because I didn’t know what to do anymore. I was out of answers.

I wanted to get on another path… but how?  I got mixed up in some illegal operations, and was taken to Morningside police station, the detective that walked in to interview me was an old classmate. He didn’t say ‘Shane, how did this happen?  How did you get here” but I could see that question in his eyes. I remember so clearly how he looked at me.

I was sent to the watch house, and I prayed to a God I did not believe in.  “God, I am ready to change, get me out of here and I will go to rehab”.

Unbelievably I was released on bail and kept my promise. I went to a rehab in the city, got mixed up with a girl and was kicked out. I detoxed and called Teen Challenge QLD (TCQ).

MY FIRST DAY AT TEENCHALLENGE QLD:

I remember my first day at Teen Challenge so clearly.  I sauntered up to the front door, cigarettes in one hand, phone in the other, surprise when I had to hand both these crutches over.

" I was tired of my life. Is there something wrong with me?" I thought "Can things really change?" I was at rock bottom, trapped in a cycle of manipulation and lies for so long.

SURROUNDED BY GOOD ROLE MODELS:

At TCQ I was surrounded by good men like Rob and Craig, these guys lived to their values.  They were men of consistency and integrity.  I started to believe in the possibility of transformation.

I remember Wes, a dedicated volunteer, sitting with me as I wrestled with life's big questions, this meant the world to me, more than you'll ever know.

LOVED:

It’s not easy to put in to words the feeling I felt when I was at TCQ. It really was love though, I sensed the love, and I saw it in the actions of those around me, I felt it embrace me. I had this overwhelming feeling of love, belonging and acceptance and I wanted to understand where this love came from.

THE VALUE IN RELATIONSHIP:

Sure, the program was solid, but the people—the staff and volunteers—left the deepest impression. They're human, flaws and all, but their humility and boundless compassion astounded me. Even after leaving Toowoomba, I stayed connected to them. Whenever I'm in Brisbane, I make a beeline for Toowoomba to share my journey with the guys in the rehab program.

Curious about Bec's journey? Explore her story here.